Personally, I have had extensive experience with EFT over the past 2 years. From the moment I learnt the technique I was amazed by the results and began to embrace it as I could see the possibilities with EFT were literally endless. Consequently my life has been getting better and better over the last couple of years, and recently the results have increased several fold by making some adjustments to how I use the technique.
At first, I used it spasmodically, when I remembered. It wasn’t long before I was using it on a regular basis when I was feeling overwhelmed by emotion. I participated in workshops to learn more about the technique and continued to be amazed at its versatility and effectiveness. How could something so simple be so powerful? It seemed too good to be true.
I learnt about different variations of EFT and how they could be applied and experimented with various things.
I did get frustrated after a while. I kept tapping on deep issues, which at the time were reduced to a zero on the ‘SUDS’ scale (rates the level of intensity of a feeling or emotion). Then, days, weeks, or even months later, these issues would come back again as there was another aspect to them that I had not previously realised. With some issues this would happen repeatedly and I wondered if I would ever get rid of them.
I started to work with a practitioner who was extremely gifted at uncovering issues I had no idea existed and I made great progress at healing my pain. This was pain I had buried for years and had no idea I was avoiding, or how it was ruling my life and relationships.
It wasn’t until recently that I starting using EFT in a way that I have found to be the most effective for me.
During each day there are various moments that I react to with irritation, sadness, frustration, anger, etc. These reactions seemed to me, and probably most people, to be entirely reasonable. Most of our lives we spend being reactive to situations and events and, because we all do it, we generally believe this is normal and acceptable. But what if we responded to situations after considering all possibilities rather than reacting? What if moments and events didn’t push our buttons and cause us to react when consumed with emotion? What if our responses were considered and conciliatory, leading to a satisfactory resolution for everybody involved instead of inflaming a situation?
A few weeks ago, I had just arrived at a clients house. Her place was a reasonable drive from mine, about 20 minutes, and as I pulled up, my husband called. His battery had totally died in his car and, as he was a driving instructor, this was an issue that had to be resolved as quickly as possible. The only reasonable way to do this was for me to drive down to pick him up, get a new battery, etc. He just happened to be about 20 minutes in the opposite direction to our house, so he was about 40 minutes away from where I was currently. This meant I had to drive all the way to him, help him out, and then get back to my client.
I was angry. Actually, that’s an understatement. I was absolutely furious. And as I drove, I began to look at my level of anger and resentment. It wasn’t my husbands fault the car had died. And it was an unfortunate coincidence that I had been so far away when it had happened. Why was I so angry? It really didn’t make sense. So I started continual tapping (tapping meridian points randomly for varying lengths of time) and just allowing my underlying emotions to surface. I was particularly mindful not to suppress any of my emotions.
(It’s important to note here that I recently read some material that said there is bliss in every emotion when it is felt fully. This seemed strange at first, but I have since exercised this and found it to be true. Mostly we filter and suppress negative emotions such as anger, grief, frustration, sadness, etc, because we are conditioned to believe that that is the only appropriate way to respond. However, when you allow yourself to feel an emotion fully within you at a given moment, it flows through you unimpeded and actually disappears relatively quickly, depending on the depth of emotion. When we suppress these emotions, they gradually build until they overflow causing us an enormous amount of pain which becomes overwhelming anger, depression, sadness and this ends up defining our relationships and ruling our lives.)
Now, as I tapped, instead of the anger going, it became absolute rage! I did not understand where it was coming from. It wasn’t this situation that had made me this angry. This was obviously emotions that I had buried for a very long time. All the way to my husband I tapped and yelled and tapped. And yet, I also felt a strange sense of calm as I released the anger. I presume that was the tapping. I made sure I was calm and pleasant as I helped my husband and then on the long drive back to my client I tapped again. More rage and then lots of tears.
I stopped short of my clients’ house and tapped for about another 10 minutes until I was sure I had released all of the anger, and resulting sadness, that had been buried deep within me for many years, maybe even lifetimes! I could not think of an event in my life that would have made me so angry, but just allowing it and tapping at the same time allowed me to release it.
I have been a chronic teeth grinder for many years which was really beginning to cause me problems. I have not been grinding for the last few weeks and I feel a sense of calm that I do not remember previously experiencing.
What I learned from this is that when I am triggered by a particular circumstance, instead of justifying my reaction and allowing it to inflame a situation, I take time to tap and find out what the real issue or emotion is, allowing myself to feel associated emotions fully until it is completely released. This has transformed my life and is having an incredibly positive affect, not only on me, but my relationships.
I am releasing destructive emotions more regularly and effectively than before. I am calmer and tend to consider events more often and respond rather than reacting in a way that can exacerbate a situation that could be defused relatively easily when approached with consideration for everybody involved.
I have found this approach to EFT to be the most effective of all in my life and I encourage you to try this too. Imagine if all the anger in our hearts was diffused forever? What a different world it would be!